SPECIAL REPORT ABOUT THE KING OF HIGH MOUNTAIN

The man who gave his daughter to an ogre


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Q: How did you find a flea that was so massive?

A: Well, if you want me to be honest with you, I was sitting watching a performance when I just happened to get bitten by the tiniest little thing on my hand. I just sat and picked it off my hand and I thought to myself that it would be an absolute shame to kill something so strong, solid and beautifully built. I kept him and fed him my own blood daily until he grew massive. It is true.

Q: Were you hoping to hold this contest for a long time? Was it part of a plan? Talk to us a little bit about that.

A: It was not something I had always been planning on doing. If it were up to me, I would have the flea continue to grow to see how great he could eventually be. He was more like my beloved pet than anything else. I cannot see anything wrong in me as a king to want to test my powers to see how something could grow and flourish under my reign.

Q: Well, if it was not planned, why had you not married your daughter off before?

A: Contests like these are meant to find appropriate suitors for my daughter, of course...or so I thought. I know I lost my pet and I most definitely did not want to lose the other apple of my eye.

Q: How do you feel about the suitor who made the right guess?

A: I did not think anyone would be able to guess the correct answer let alone an ogre, but as a king, I cannot back out on my word. I would have rather it been anyone else or nobody at all, but no one could guess the correct answer and now it is just too late.

Q: Do you think you are going to miss your daughter?

A: More than anything and I am so sorry to have to put her through this, but I know that whatever I do is done well. The only thing we can do now is see how well this marriage progresses. Now, I am done answering questions. I am off to my next endeavor.

SPECIAL REPORT: INVESTIGATION

What the Q and A with the King tells High Mountain about royalty
The King of High Mountain opened up to our news channel about many questions we had regarding his daughter and the ogre. However, the editorial board feels it reveals a lot about the royal class in our community. We might get in trouble for this analysis, but it is worth it so that the people in our kingdom know. How a mighty king could become so obsessed with something as tiny and insignificant as a flea is beyond us. Not only is making sure that his daughter is married is important, but we have so many needs and wants. The King should have been spending his time doing something else rather than obsessing over a talented flea. While the King says everything he does in done well, we here find it funny that he cannot even take care of an oversized flea. In addition, why was an ogre allowed to enter the contest? So many able bodied, intelligent men traveled to his palace from all over the kingdom in hopes of guessing the right answer in exchange for Porziella. While we might agree that it says something about the men who could not guess it, we believe it says more about the King. To create an impossible standard for her is ridiculous. Although we agree that the ogre is atrocious, we believe that the King is equally as terrible for allowing this to happen. We here at High Mountain News hope Porziella is safe and eventually returns home. Maybe then will the King learn something.